Our first week meeting focused on learning about how anxiety affects us and in what pattern.
Deeya eased us into the discussion by reviewing what a transition was in life and why it feels so hard. She covered how transitions can be expected or unexpected but also either positive or difficult. Examples of transitions would be a graduation, moving in with friends, or job loss. These moments in our lives feel difficult because our mind wants predictability and safety, and when those qualities are absent, our brain interprets this as danger.
We then talked about the definition of anxiety as a mind and body response to a perceived threat or uncertainty and reviewed how it can be helpful or unhelpful. Anxiety is helpful when it helps us remember to study for a test, but unhelpful when it is incongruent to the situation or interferes in our daily life.
There are four parts to anxiety – the thoughts, emotions, bodily reactions, and behaviours of anxiety. Thoughts might include things like, “What if I fail? What if I can’t handle this?” where emotions would be the fear and uncertainty, overwhelm or irritability that accompanies anxiety. Our body reacts to anxiety with a racing heart, tension, and perhaps an upset stomach, and we might act in reaction to anxiety by avoiding, procrastinating, or seeking reassurance.
Avoidance is the most common reaction to anxiety, but it becomes a difficult cycle known as the anxiety trap. The cycle starts with whatever is causing us anxiety and the uncomfortable symptoms that go with it. We react by avoiding the anxiety and/or what triggers it, and this avoidance initially brings relief. But the relief is temporary and comes at a cost which is intensification of the anxiety. Because you avoided the anxiety, you’ve taught your mind that it IS something that needs to be avoided at all costs. You’ve taught yourself that the anxiety is scary. And so, when it comes around again inevitably, the anxiety is now worsened, and it’s even more tempting to continue the avoidance and continue the cycle.
Anxiety à Avoidance à Relief à Intensification
When talking about anxiety, it is important to distinguish when it’s helpful versus unhelpful. Words we can use for when it is helpful would be a productive concern, and when it’s unhelpful, we would call it an excessive worry. To distinguish the two, I will describe each. A productive concern focuses on a problem and leads to action. It is within your control, and you currently have the time to pursue that goal to its natural conclusion. In opposition, an excessive worry keeps you focused on “what ifs,” stays on a repeating loop, is often outside of your control, and is difficult to switch off. It does not have a natural stopping point and thinking of it increases distress. If you are trying to distinguish between the two, you can ask yourself, “Is there something I can do about this right now?” If there is, it is likely a productive concern, but if not, it may be an excessive worry.
For practice this week, Deeya has asked the participants to start examining and noticing the four parts of anxiety in themselves. We are not yet working on changing the patterns, just noticing them. Try to find one incident in your life this week and ask yourself the following questions:
- What happened?
- What did I think?
- What did I feel?
- What happened in my body?
- What did I do?
About Adrienne Marsh
Adrienne Marsh, RN, RP (Qualifying), is a psychotherapist at Impart Therapy. Drawing on her background in nursing and mental health, Adrienne supports clients through anxiety, life transitions, and emotional wellness. She offers virtual therapy across Ontario. To learn more about working with Adrienne, contact Impart Therapy.