In late December, I joined a gym (for what seems like the 47th time). Yep, like the millions of others that decide in January they are absolutely going to make this year the year they get fit, look great, and feel better about themselves, I joined a gym. While I appreciate the low cost of this gym compared with others ($30/month vs. $100 is a lot easier to justify when you only go once a week), the thing that’s stayed with my ADHD brain these past weeks is the advice they have for us floating on their big screens: The Key to Weight Loss is Patience and Consistency.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend as a 50-year-old perimenopausal woman with a stomach that resembles my fifth month in pregnancy that I don’t care about weight loss: I do. However, I’m much more interested in the message here and how it can help my ADHD brain.
Consistency and patience are often framed as personal virtues—things you either have or don’t (unsurprisingly, I don’t naturally have either), but for ADHD brains, they’re not character traits. They’re skills, and they’re harder to build in a nervous system that thrives on novelty, urgency, and interest.
Consistency is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever faced (so much so, that it was my word of the year for 2025). Struggling with consistency does not mean you’re lazy, unreliable, or undisciplined. ADHD affects executive function—planning, working memory, emotional regulation, and time perception. That means doing something regularly, even when it’s boring or slow to reward you, takes significantly more effort. So when we talk about consistency with ADHD, we’re not talking about perfection or rigid routines. We’re talking about showing up imperfectly, more often than not.
Consistency Isn’t “Every Day”—It’s “Returning”
One of the biggest traps ADHD brains fall into is all-or-nothing thinking. You miss a day, a week, or a month, and your brain says, “Well, that’s ruined.” Hence, we quit. Real consistency isn’t not stopping—it’s starting again without self-punishment.
Try reframing consistency as frequency over intensity. Five minutes counts. Half-done counts. Doing it badly still counts. Momentum builds from repetition, not from willpower. This is particularly helpful for my gym-going routine, as sometimes it means getting there and working out just long enough.
Why Patience Feels Especially Hard
I think I can do 10 push-ups on Monday and have ripped arms by Tuesday. My ADHD brain wants results now. Dopamine is tied to immediate feedback, so slow progress can feel invisible—or worse, pointless. This makes patience feel like suffering instead of growth, often leading to me quitting the gym.
Here’s the truth: progress with ADHD is often non-linear and quiet. You may not notice it day to day, but skills are still wiring themselves in the background. Patience isn’t waiting calmly. It’s staying even when your brain is screaming that nothing is working. That’s not a weakness. That’s endurance.
Practical Ways to Support Yourself
- Lower the bar until it’s almost silly. If the task feels too easy, good. You’re more likely to return.
- Anchor habits to identity, not outcomes. “I’m someone who writes sometimes” lasts longer than “I must finish this project.” Or in my case, “I go to the gym,” rather than “I’m going to get ripped by March.”
- Track returns, not streaks. How many times did you come back after stopping? That’s resilience.
- Build in forgiveness on purpose. Expect inconsistency. Plan for it. Remove shame from the system.
Let’s Play the Long Game
Consistency and patience with ADHD aren’t about becoming someone else. They’re about working with your brain instead of against it. You don’t need to try harder. You need to try kinder. So, if there’s a motto I’d ask you (and me) this year to help our ADHD, it’s Consistency and Patience.
About Impart Therapy and Nadine Evans
Nadine Evans is a Registered Psychotherapist and Practice Owner of Impart Therapy is a virtual practice dedicated to providing accessible psychotherapy services, including support for PMDD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, grief, stress, and life transitions.