The introduction to our spring ADHD support group outlined the structure of the four weekly sessions and then settled into understanding ADHD.
ADHD brains live with executive dysfunction, but what does that actually look like in our lives? Many people may know that it affects task management and prioritization, but truly, it touches all the areas of our lives. Attention fluctuates, impulsivity crops up, motivation is driven by interest and meaning, working memory struggles, the perception of time is altered, sensitivities to certain stimuli exist, emotions are heightened and change rapidly, and rejection sensitivity and emotional responses to injustice are strong.
Next, neurodivergent brain differences were discussed as different but definitely not wrong or broken, using the example of a seesaw, where when one person is up, the other person is down, comparing that with two parts of our brain – the frontal lobe and the amygdala. When the amygdala is active or “up,” the frontal lobe is harder to access or “down.” As the amygdala controls our emotional responses, ADHDers can often find it harder to use the executive functions found in the frontal lobe when their emotions are running high. This difference is compounded by the facts that the development of the executive system is delayed in ADHDers and their motivation is guided by interest rather than need.
“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”
A discussion followed the reading of this quote that brings validation to the ADHD experience. We are different as a fish is from a tree, but we do not judge a fish for its inability to climb a tree as it was not designed to do that task. Similarly, neurodivergent people are often judged for not measuring up against systems, expectations, and environments built for a neurotypical world. The message was encouraging as it reassured ADHDers that they are not incapable, lazy, or broken as they so often feel.
Beyond the mismatch between ADHD challenges and societal expectations, ADHD traits often shift in the context of several conditions which have nothing to do with one’s character. One’s environment – home, work, school – stress, sleep, and emotional burden affect ADHD symptoms greatly. And the same trait that helps in one setting can potentially be a hinderance in another. Attention and effort are strongly influenced by the ADHDer’s interest in that topic or area.
The conversation then turned toward reframing ADHD traits as talents and strengths rather than just challenges. The following were listed and discussed as positive aspects of ADHD.
- Hyperfocus when a task is engaging
- Creativity and problem-solving
- Heightened perceptual sensitivity to patterns, nuances, and environmental cues
- Ability to respond quickly in high-pressure situations
- Passion, curiosity, and intrinsic drive
- Resilience and empathy
- Energy, spontaneity, and openness to new experiences
Participants were then encouraged to consider their personal values and to use them as motivation to help them meet the challenges of their ADHD symptoms. Knowing the why behind what you are doing can be strong motivation toward task initiation and follow-through. As ADHDers, we need this understanding of our personal values to give our choices and actions direction. They are truly the foundation of our lives. It was noted that there are not right and wrong values. They are personal to each of us and reflect who we are and how we want to show up in the world. Your values can be compared to your favourite flavour of ice cream. There is no wrong answer! A list of potential values can be found here. Link to: https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/
The final segment of the session ended with the suggestion of how you can work with your ADHD brain using the phrase “observe it, name it, and tame it”. The observation piece is critical because we must be aware of how ADHD shows up in each of our lives, when traits help versus where they hinder, and what situations, tasks, or environments focus our energy and emotion. Naming it means you can put to words the symptoms you are experiencing, such as “I am experiencing overwhelm” or to give a strength-based example “I am utilizing my creativity here.” This acknowledgment is powerful because as you observe and name them, you can learn your own patterns and link them to your personal values and interests. Last, taming what you have observed and named can be done in a myriad of ways by building supports that fit your brain, leaning on your strengths, and aligning your choices with your values all to help make follow-through a little bit easier.
The homework for the session asked participants to use the observe, name, and tame approach to their daily lives. Participants were encouraged to observe their personal patterns, notice their self-talk, name it for what it is, and connect it to their values.
About Adrienne Marsh
Adrienne Marsh, RN, RP (Qualifying), is a psychotherapist at Impart Therapy. Drawing on her background in nursing and mental health, Adrienne supports clients through anxiety, life transitions, and emotional wellness. She offers virtual therapy across Ontario. To learn more about working with Adrienne, contact Impart Therapy.