It’s that time of year: Making resolutions and promptly (or statistically, by mid-February), abandoning them. For those of us with PMDD, our resolutions may feel even tougher to keep, given the difficulties that this disorder brings, not to mention how tough this time of year is in general for us. Our January PMDD Group focused on reframing New Year’s resolutions through compassion, realism, and DBT skills—especially given that November–March and the luteal phase are often the most challenging times for people with PMDD.
Participants explored how winter exacerbates PMDD symptoms due to reduced sunlight, lower energy, and increased isolation—making traditional resolution-setting unrealistic and often harmful during this time.
A Realistic Approach to Resolutions
Let’s throw out the “New Year, New You” trope once and for all, and focus on what really matters – getting real about our PMDD. Rather than setting common resolutions like losing weight, getting fit, or becoming more organized, the group was encouraged to:
- Focus on small, attainable changes that create 10% more happiness
(shout out to Dan Harris’ book, which details how meditation can help improve our wellbeing by ten percent – although we really just love the title here to apply to several general things to help) - Prioritize nervous-system comfort and emotional safety
Examples included: Lighting candles and getting cozy (like the Danish do during Hygge), drinking your favourite tea, using “happy lights” (special lighting that reduces SAD), or booking time for yourself (like a massage or a movie night out). - Choosing a word of the year instead of a goal – this idea is gaining steam, as many are opting to select an aspirational word (like “empower” or “routine”) rather than a list of goals.
The Concept of “Fallow”
We discussed the concept of fallow to apply to both this time of year and our luteal phase. Fallow refers to a farming practice of leaving harvested farmland unplanted to allow the soil to replenish. For us, fallow time can refer to both the cold, dark winter months and our luteal phase. These times were reframed as seasons for replenishment, rest, and gentleness, not productivity or self-improvement.
DBT Skills Practiced
1. The 5 R’s (Extended Mindfulness Practice)
A structured way to manage overwhelm:
- Recognize: Notice thoughts, especially fear-based or self-critical ones
- Relax: Scan for body tension and breathe into it
- Review: Identify what is and is not within your control
- Respond: Choose a response from your wisest, most grounded self
- Return: Gently bring attention back to the present moment
2. Grounding
A five-senses practice to anchor in the present moment by noticing:
- What you can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste
- Your breath and body sensations
3. TIPP (Crisis Skills for High Activation)
Designed for moments of intense emotional distress:
- Temperature: Cold water, ice, or heat to shift physiological arousal
- Intense Exercise: Short bursts of movement (e.g., jumping jacks, jogging)
- Paced Breathing: Box breathing or slow inhales/exhales
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tensing and releasing muscle groups
- Regardless of the types of specific DBT skills you find useful, adding DBT skills to help manage PMDD is a great “resolution” to consider this time of year. Accepting yourself as you are (and your PMDD), while working to improve your mental health, are the most important resolutions and goals!
About Impart Therapy
Impart Therapy is a virtual practice dedicated to providing accessible psychotherapy services, including support for PMDD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, grief, stress, and life transitions. The Impart team runs a monthly PMDD Group Program (the third Thursday of every month). For more details about the PMDD Group, please visit: PMDD Support Group & Therapy | Join Our Community