The purpose of this week’s session was to understand how anxious thoughts affect us and learn practical strategies to respond differently to them.
After a recap of last week’s session, Deeya discussed how anxiety can present in our thoughts and might sound like the following thoughts:
- What if something goes wrong?
- I can’t handle not knowing.
- Everyone else is doing better than me.
Some anxious thoughts are very common and can be generalized and given names like catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking. Deeya called them thinking traps. For example, catastrophizing is expecting the worst possible outcome which then transitions into assuming that you will not be able to handle it.
Another example is perfectionistic thoughts. We might think that thoughts of perfectionism usually revolve around being perfect or wanting something to be perfect. In reality, they can actually sound differently and present with lots of “shoulds.”
- I should be doing more.
- I should be further ahead.
- I have to make the right decision.
It is important to ask ourselves, “Is there something I can do about this right now?” If there is something that can be done, then you are problem-solving. If something cannot be done at that moment, then you are likely overthinking. Deeya wondered and asked the group whether they find themselves overthinking or problem-solving especially during transitions.
One strategy to combat the overthinking and anxious thoughts is asking whether there is any evidence related to this thought. You think about any evidence you have in favour of the thought, any evidence against the thought, and then wonder what else can be true. Wrapping it up, you can ask yourself what would I say to a friend who might be thinking this.
Now onto practical tools for combatting anxious thoughts.
- Cognitive reframing – Reframe an anxious thought as a more balanced one and perhaps writing it out to get it out of your head. For example, reframe the anxious thought of “If I don’t get this job, I’m going to be absolutely stuck” to the balanced thought of “Not getting this job would be disappointing, but it wouldn’t determine my entire future. I can explore other options.”
- “I’m having the thought” – Try not arguing with whether the thought is true and instead create distance between who you are and the believability of the thought by using the words “I am having the thought…”
- Instead of saying “I am going to fail”
- Say “I am having the thought that I am going to fail”
- Treating it in this way means that the thought is NOT a fact, and you can choose how to respond to it and whether you believe it.
- Build tolerance for uncertainty – Practice uncertainty in small ways to make room for not knowing in big ways. Small ways to practice uncertainty might be sending a text without rereading it 10 times, trying something without knowing exactly how it will go, or making a decision without repeatedly checking.
- Completing a thought record – Write down the following about a specific anxious situation.
- Situation: What happened?
- Automatic thought: What went through your mind?
- Emotion: What did you feel?
- Evidence: What supports the thought? What does not?
- Balanced thought: What is another way of looking at this?
- Next step: What can you do now?
This week’s practice homework is a challenge! Deeya asks that you complete one of the following: one thought record, try one uncertainty challenge, or notice what happens when you have an anxious versus a balanced thought.
About Adrienne Marsh
Adrienne Marsh, RN, RP (Qualifying), is a psychotherapist at Impart Therapy. Drawing on her background in nursing and mental health, Adrienne supports clients through anxiety, life transitions, and emotional wellness. She offers virtual therapy across Ontario. To learn more about working with Adrienne, contact Impart Therapy.