I remember it so clearly: a gorgeous, sunny morning in spring, I was peacefully driving to work while listening to a quiz show on the radio. I wasn’t rushing, so when I didn’t turn fast enough, the driver behind me blasted his horn. Then gave me the finger. My blissful morning was ruined. I arrived to work in a huff and couldn’t shake it for the rest of the day. I was in luteal, of course.
For those of us with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), emotions can feel like a rollercoaster ride, particularly during our luteal phase (the time between ovulation and menstruation). This includes overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, and irritation, not to mention in extreme cases, suicidal ideation. There is a simple, yet very cool technique known as the 90-second rule that can help.
What is the 90-Second Rule?
Introduced by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist, in her TED Talk, the 90-second rule explains that when an emotional reaction is triggered in the brain, it takes approximately 90 seconds for the brain to process and release the emotions. In this timeframe, the body experiences the physical sensations tied to that emotion. After this initial period, the emotion fades away, provided that no additional thoughts or reactions keep the emotional cycle going.
This rule suggests that after the required (or involuntary) 90 seconds, we chose to remain in the cycle, or simply put, our reactions become a mood.
When we hear this, we might be tempted to argue, as none of us PMDDers choose to be in a mood. Understood, of course, but hear us out. The 90-second rule empowers us to pause, breathe, and gain control over how we respond.
PMDD and 90 seconds
PMDD is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) that affects 3-8% of menstruaters. It is characterized by debilitating symptoms, including mood swings, irritability, depression, and physical discomfort, often starting a week or two before menstruation and lasting until the start of the period.
For someone with PMDD, emotional regulation is tough during our luteal phase. The hormonal fluctuations associated with the menstrual cycle make emotional responses more intense and difficult to manage. When an intense emotional wave hits, it is difficult not to let it take over.
By applying the 90-second rule, individuals can acknowledge their emotions, accept them without judgment, and allow the initial surge to pass without reacting impulsively.
Putting the 90-Second Rule into Practice
- Acknowledge the Emotion: When you feel anger, sadness, or irritability bubbling up, instead of acting on it, pause and identify the emotion. Naming the emotion can give you some psychological distance from it.
- Wait: Once you recognize the emotion, focus on your breath and allow 90 seconds to pass. You might notice that the intensity of the emotion lessens as the time passes. Deep breathing helps calm the nervous system, further reducing emotional intensity.
- Apply a DBT Skill. Here’s where we can break the cycle. Apply any DBT skill (our favourite: STOP or TIPP) after 90 seconds have passed. By doing this, you will feel more in control.
For someone with PMDD, the 90-second rule helps break our mood cycles, where even the littlest thing can ruin our whole day. By pausing and allowing emotions to move through you, it’s possible to gain greater emotional clarity and avoid the impulsive behaviors that may arise from the intense feelings associated with PMDD. This would have been useful for me during that drive, when I could have simply used “STOP” and felt my bad feelings slip away before arriving at work.
About the Author: Nadine Evans
Nadine was diagnosed with PMDD nearly a decade ago and subsequently left her corporate career to become a therapist. She and other therapists at Impart Therapy all focus on PMDD treatment and therapy, and her book, Mastering the Monthly Madness provides a DBT-focused guide to help with PMDD.
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